"No Longer Alone": Part 1

“Kang, Jaehyun. December 19, 2007.” That was the only thing that documented my history. Just a letter with those words dropped off with me at the orphanage. My reminiscing about my complicated past was interrupted by an announcement coming over the loudspeaker.

“Attention residents of the Blooming Children Orphanage, today could be the start of the rest of your life. Or not. The point is, report to the cafeteria in ten minutes.”

“Hear that, Jaehyun?” Jack, my best friend, asks from the bottom bunk. “Today is the day! Are you ready for the rest of your life?”

“Or not,” I quote from the morning announcement. “I mean, we didn’t even get picked yet.”

Every year, on January 1st, there is a drawing in the cafeteria. Every single Blooming Children Orphanage child writes their name on a piece of paper, places it in a bowl, and hopes that they will be one of the lucky three names that get picked. This is because the people whose names get picked have the opportunity to receive what every orphan wants: a family. Adoption is the prize for this raffle, and everyone participates. There are always over a hundred children at the orphanage, so getting picked is rare. Like getting struck by lightning twice, rare. So, I try not to get my hopes up. But, I still try to stay a little enthusiastic for Jack’s sake.

“Hey, we should hurry up and get downstairs before the caretaker starts without us!”

As we walk down the hall towards the stairs, Jack suddenly stops, making me run into him.

“What the heck, dude?”

“Sorry. I just… What if one of us gets picked? Then what?”

“Well, we'll stay.”

“Really? And pass up that chance?”

“I mean, what's the point in having parents if I don’t have a friend? I would never leave you, Jack.”

“Okay.”

Somehow that didn’t seem like a satisfying answer. Would he leave me? I think. Nah. Jack would never do that to me. He’s stood by me through thick and thin. And I’ve done the same for him. Always.

We finally made it to the cafeteria right on time.

“Please write your name on a piece of paper on the table, then place it in the bowl at the front.”

“I’ll get papers for us!” Jack tells me.

“What’s up, Kang?”

“Hey Minori,” I say to the girl coming up behind me. “Nothing much. I'm just waiting for Jack to get the papers.”

Minori whatever-her-last-name-is is Jack’s friend. She’s 14, in-between the ages of Jack and I. We aren't particularly close, given the fact that she hasn’t been here as long as I have. However, for whatever reason, Jack has taken a liking to her.

“Okay. Well, good luck.”

“You too.”

“Also, hope Jack finally gets to get away from this awful place!” Minori said as she walked away.

“Wait, what?” I yell back at her. But she was too far away to hear.

“What did Minori want?” Jack asked as he walked back.

“She said something weird…”

“What?”

“That you wanted to get away from this awful place…”

“You don’t? I mean, I’d much rather have a family than live here the rest of my life. This raffle could be my last chance, me turning 13 and all. You know better than anyone that no one wants a teenager.”

I do. I turned 15 a few weeks ago, so I’ve had two years of experience in adoption interviews as a teenager. All the parents want a kid they can raise on their own, not some teenager that doesn’t even have that much time left living at home. Not that I blame them. I mean, what’s the point in adopting if you can’t even raise the kid how you want to?

“Let’s just drop our names in,” Jack tells me.

“Yeah,” I respond.

We drop our names in the bowl and move to the back of the crowd. The younger kids normally gather at the front near the container of paper, hoping to catch a glimpse of the name before it’s read. I lost that youthful hope years ago.

“Remember, if you hear your name, please come to the front within three minutes or your chance to get adopted will be terminated. The first name…,” the head caregiver says as she reaches into the bowl. “...is Minori Hitonoru.”

“Huh, so that's what her last name is,” I remark.

“You didn’t know?”

“You did?”

Minori leaving is bittersweet, but not the end of the world. I’m glad she gets this opportunity to get what she’s always wanted ever since she arrived at the orphanage. Before she got here, she got into some real trouble. At least, that’s what I heard from the other kids.

“Second name… Kailani Levine.”

I don’t know her personally, but I’ve heard talk about her in the halls. A girl of about seven giddily makes her way to the front and happily receives her adoption coupon.

“Last but not least, the final and third name picked this year is… Jack Hwang. Thank you. Good luck to the rest of you next year.”

I stand there dumbfounded. I mean, what are the chances of that? I look over to Jack to see his reaction. He seems… uncomfortable.

“Hey, what are the chances of that, right?” I ask him.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Weird.”

“So… wait, where are you going?”

“If I don’t go up soon I’ll miss my chance.”

“Excuse me!?” I look at my best friend. “What are you talking about?!”

“I-I can’t stay here anymore Jaehyun!” He yells without looking into my eyes. “This-this just isn’t-I can’t… I need to go.”

I can’t look at him as he walks away. I can feel everyone staring at me, but I can’t seem to have a strong hold on the tears as they threaten to fall. I will not let them see me cry. I run back upstairs to the safety of my top bunk as my eyes sting so much it’s almost unbearable. As I enter the boys’ combined room, I scurry up the ladder as quickly as possible. I’m not sure how much time has elapsed since my world fell apart, but eventually, I hear footsteps.

“Hey. I just came by to pack my stuff.”

I don’t look at Jack. I can’t.

“Look Jaehyun, you would’ve made the same decision as me–”

“No, no I wouldn’t have,” I say, trying to contain my anger but failing miserably. “I remember when you first showed up here. You were just a baby then. You were scared, and so was I. But ever since then I felt like I had a family. I had a brother. But not anymore.”

Jack finishes packing his stuff without saying a word. Better that way anyway.

“Goodbye, Jaehyun.”

I look up, and Jack is gone.